Feelings Only Lie

•June 16, 2009 • Leave a Comment

A few days ago I shared that my overactive brain is often (more often then not) the biggest obstacle to progress. Feelings, Emotions and Trying to figure out what to do have been critical in the early development of our species I guess. But in my daily life they it’s a hold back, that until now kept me from being and doing what I want.

The Sedona Method helped me to be ABLE to let go of most negative and even positive emotions if I choose. Two words are critical ABLE and CHOOSE. Holding on to an unwanted emotion can feel good. Strange but for true, for me anyway. Justified anger is a perfect example of this mechanism. When someone hurts my “feelings” or doesn’t treat me like I think they should anger feels like an act of revenge. I know I’m hurting myself, but in my anger and being “right” I can’t sleep, my production is at a low and the situation eats up all of my energy. I know that when I decide to let go and accept things as they are or appear to be the whole thing will fall from my shoulders.

But it can take a while, the angry feeling tells me that the other person needs to be punished and should feel very, very bad about his behavior. Then I notice a snoring sound from the other side of the bed and this can’t be so the idiot is sleeping.  Finally I fall asleep as well wake up early still angry only to find a cheerful husband downstairs who didn’t even had a clue about all my anger.

At the same time I feel exhausted, even embarrassed and overall like being hit by a truck. So who the hell did I punish with my anger? It could even be that no harm was intended and it was my garbled perception that noticed this huge injustice. Whatever the case what I did to myself was 10 times more destructive than my husband could have done when he really was such a sh#$#%@$^% bag as I thought him to be the night before.

Really funny, the way our feelings lie to us…

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Personal Experiences with the Sedona Method

•June 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

As you know the Sedona Method is the most profound life changer that I know. No other school of though has impacted my outlook on life the way this so very simple method has. And no other way of thinking and working with my feelings has ever provoked so much resistance in my. The number of times that I knew intellectually what to do, (let go) but just couldn’t aren’t to be counted.

The fact of the matter is not that the processes of letting your feelings go instead of expressing or suppressing them is difficult, not at all its easy.  You get the hang of it in a week or two and it works miracles.  From my personal experience I say that this is an easy program for complicated people (gosh where did I hear that one before).

What keeps me running around in circles in the resistance, the unwillingness to let go. Resistance!!. When you actually do let go of long treasured beliefs, it has a tendency to fight back. For example my belief of not being good or deserving enough was a big hold back all my life. Letting go of it was easy, still a feeling has a tendency to want survival. I know it may sound weird but in my experience energies in the mind do put up a fight for their survival. So you start to get tricked in feelings that work on other unresolved fears. In my case they took shape as half conscious fantasies about social disasters around the corner.

And there comes the paradox, letting go is easy, and when you do a whole series of behaviors and emotions become “jobless” and move on. Others partly related are more persistent and need some work, but also produce a heavy load of resistance.  They make you wonder if this whole releasing thing is making sense at all. In the fliers you find glamor and riches around the corner, but to me it was often like trading one piece of garbage for another.

So you could say that I struggled and put up a great fight… The fact is that releasing to get rid of something isn’t the best way to approach things. Lester talked a lot about Attachments and Aversions and how we need to become free of this trap. There is the paradox the difficulty for the “thinking” intellectuals like me. The whole thing just doesn’t seem to add up.

Letting Go of Good and Bad

You can let go, it’s so easy, but I found that in my case letting go to get rid off doesn’t work to well. The real releasing of my burdened mind started when I was able to accept me, my circumstances, perceived goods and bad’s as okay, as something that is perfect and couldn’t have been different. There was the point this whole exercise started to make sense, where I could see and not be told how easy it all is and that my resistance, shame fear and guilt are only little ripples on my consciousness.

Life becomes much easier then and things start to move in ways you wouldn’t have thought of before. Monica’s experiences are much like what I’ve gone through. Wanting to control outcomes, uneasiness about trusting the flow of life and the idea things need to be a certain way in order to be happy. The image of being on a raft on the stream of life with to choices, to struggle against an overpowering current or to enjoy the surroundings while floating along.

The end result in both scenarios is the same; the journey seems to end when we reach the sea. But when you put up an heroic fight you end up exhausted and bitter. Just being on the raft on the other hand conserves energy and because you don’t spend all you brain power on figuring out what can’t be figured out you start to notice opportunities, wonderful things and the perfectness of it all.

Just For Today I let Go

•June 12, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Just for Today

Often times, no most of the time, my biggest struggle isn’t the knowing where to go but how to get there. Putting all my intellectual releasing wisdom aside for the time being and see where I’m at now.

The biggest hurdle for me is still to simply make a decision and to follow through on that. It’s sometimes said too much information leads to paralysis and yes that’s my experience. This blog is not intended as a Sedona Method course nor do I feel the need to be perfect at it. If the method helped me anywhere it’s in the area of pride. The all knowing holier than tough person is gone. No need to fake it anymore. Its okay as is and lets plough ahead.

So information paralysis, which in fact is nothing more or nothing less then being attached to an outcome, and feeling unable to figure out how to get there. Well this sentence alone is giving my mind enough food to make a couple of things clear to me (this doesn’t mean they are real!)

  • I suffer because of my attachment to my goal
  • I’m lousy in applying the Sedona method in my life
  • I’m trying to figure it out which I’m not supposed to do so I need to figure out why I’m figuring out which I resist, so there is tension and I resist my resistance.. And so on and so forth.
  • I’m beating myself up

When you want me to elaborate on this list just drop me a line and I can tell you in 50 pages what there’s wrong with me.

Intellectually I know only the first point is viable. I, we suffer because of our attachments to outcomes. All else is just my variation of suffering or as I one heard Hale say my “favorite taste of suffering”. And hell, yes I agree one hundred percent, still I’m stuck.

Continuing my private moan, the end result is a head filled with diametrically opposed viewpoints and NOT AN INCH of progress in the direction I want to go.

Here to I have an intellectual solution, When we are stuck we let go of the want to change the stuckness.

Or to put it in a different wording:

  • Until now I couldn’t let go of my want to make a decent living.
  • I recognize that this want is pulling me in so many directions that my chances of getting the goal are decreasing
  • I’m holding on to the same thing that seems to be preventing me from getting there

Mmmm, intellectually speaking I must admit that this mess can only be a production of my number one inner movie director “feelings”.  And boy did this guy know how to create an illusion. An illusion under the cover of being an educational representation of the future if I don’t change my ways.
My chief producers genre includes: horror, fantasy, drama , comedy  and I’m in the lead in all of them. Usually my part is not really glamorous and happy endings are rare. Educational fun so to speak, but exhausting it is.

Now most of my feature movies are about making a decent living, with an emphasis on not being able to do just that. Horrible scenes of lack, poverty or missing out are glued in my minds eye.

So do I want to change that ?

Yes I do

and can I let go of the want to control this whole production unit?

Well just for today I will. Just for today No More No Less…..and a deeper knowing that’s here as well tells me that’s enough

Back To Basics with Larry Crane

•January 29, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Back to basics, I wouldn’t have thought it possible but Larry Crane’s abundance course is helping me to progress at this  pace. For the first tine the question “can it become even better” holds ground. It’s such a wonderful to experience whole layers of AGFLAP dropping away.

I guess that Larry’s down to earth way of teaching was just what I needed to proceed on course. His approach is really healthy for someone with a mind like mine. My brain pick’s up anything to divert into fruitless mind games.  Really an escape prone bundle of coping mechanisms it is… Then switching on the CD  to hear:

“Put the magical tube into the energy, disengage your head and allow the energy to pass through. It’s not good, not bad it’s just energy passing through. “

Put’s me right back on track and on my feet. This new dimension is helping me to dissolve stucknesses that I avoided, didn’t see or ignored at a lighting speed.

Yet it’s also part of my reality that without Hale’s way of teaching I wouldn’t have come to the place where Larry’s words found such a fertile ground. This is really something, with Hale I can venture in new uncharted territory while a guy like Larry pulls me back down to earth again. They are not only complimentary for me but an example of 1 + 1 = 3 or more..

Talking to a friend about my experiences we couldn’t help but grinning. Could it be so that Lester knew this? Can it be so that he envisioned the way these guys help to develop multiple dimensions of what he found?  🙂

The path

•January 19, 2009 • Leave a Comment

This entire path is a

do-it-yourself path

Demonstrate only in the Eternal NOW

•January 18, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Never think of things as coming in the future,

as the mind wil keep it in the future.

So Feel it, Taste it, Posess it as yours NOW

Do not see in it “will-be-ness”

Lester Levenson

True Learning – Experiencing

•January 17, 2009 • Leave a Comment

When one Learns, by actually experiencing it,

that mind is only reactive,

He than holds in Mind only the things he wants,

And never takes thought for the things he does not want

Lester Levenson