Just For Today I let Go

Just for Today

Often times, no most of the time, my biggest struggle isn’t the knowing where to go but how to get there. Putting all my intellectual releasing wisdom aside for the time being and see where I’m at now.

The biggest hurdle for me is still to simply make a decision and to follow through on that. It’s sometimes said too much information leads to paralysis and yes that’s my experience. This blog is not intended as a Sedona Method course nor do I feel the need to be perfect at it. If the method helped me anywhere it’s in the area of pride. The all knowing holier than tough person is gone. No need to fake it anymore. Its okay as is and lets plough ahead.

So information paralysis, which in fact is nothing more or nothing less then being attached to an outcome, and feeling unable to figure out how to get there. Well this sentence alone is giving my mind enough food to make a couple of things clear to me (this doesn’t mean they are real!)

  • I suffer because of my attachment to my goal
  • I’m lousy in applying the Sedona method in my life
  • I’m trying to figure it out which I’m not supposed to do so I need to figure out why I’m figuring out which I resist, so there is tension and I resist my resistance.. And so on and so forth.
  • I’m beating myself up

When you want me to elaborate on this list just drop me a line and I can tell you in 50 pages what there’s wrong with me.

Intellectually I know only the first point is viable. I, we suffer because of our attachments to outcomes. All else is just my variation of suffering or as I one heard Hale say my “favorite taste of suffering”. And hell, yes I agree one hundred percent, still I’m stuck.

Continuing my private moan, the end result is a head filled with diametrically opposed viewpoints and NOT AN INCH of progress in the direction I want to go.

Here to I have an intellectual solution, When we are stuck we let go of the want to change the stuckness.

Or to put it in a different wording:

  • Until now I couldn’t let go of my want to make a decent living.
  • I recognize that this want is pulling me in so many directions that my chances of getting the goal are decreasing
  • I’m holding on to the same thing that seems to be preventing me from getting there

Mmmm, intellectually speaking I must admit that this mess can only be a production of my number one inner movie director “feelings”.  And boy did this guy know how to create an illusion. An illusion under the cover of being an educational representation of the future if I don’t change my ways.
My chief producers genre includes: horror, fantasy, drama , comedy  and I’m in the lead in all of them. Usually my part is not really glamorous and happy endings are rare. Educational fun so to speak, but exhausting it is.

Now most of my feature movies are about making a decent living, with an emphasis on not being able to do just that. Horrible scenes of lack, poverty or missing out are glued in my minds eye.

So do I want to change that ?

Yes I do

and can I let go of the want to control this whole production unit?

Well just for today I will. Just for today No More No Less…..and a deeper knowing that’s here as well tells me that’s enough


~ by monicajens on June 12, 2009.

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